Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
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she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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