So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
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I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
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she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
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