if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.