Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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