Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
