Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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