there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
