its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
my poor anus
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
