Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
