You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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