i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
