i would punch a child for taco bell
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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