the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
