Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
