Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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