If that was your dad, he is hot
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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