Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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