I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Bang-toberfest begins!!
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
