Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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