ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
i've created a new STD.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
