I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
