During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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