im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..