I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory