chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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