Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.