If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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