Having a random hookup so left but love u
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
