How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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