also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I can text with my tongue
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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