dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
