My nipple is on Facebook.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
