You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
