Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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