I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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