actually, I'm a sock model
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize