Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
