I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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