I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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