He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize