I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize