I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
