I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
