i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
either way he was missing a nipple.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
