Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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