My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
