allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
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