Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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