The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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