I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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