You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
