Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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