My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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