Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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