Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
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I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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