so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
