she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
