Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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