I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina just recognized that song.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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