I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
