The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
i need some magic done to my vagina
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
