I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
