i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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