Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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