we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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