i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
