I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Randomize
