i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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